In an unprecedented outburst, Stephen Fry has gone on record as being 'inconsolable' at the demise of his beloved Norwich City Football Club.
Recent entries on Twitter could be seen to say: "what was that cunt Doherty thinking of? Useless Mick bastard!" Another entry, focusing on the team's midfield inadequacies stated: "fucking Clingan - sounds like something from Star Trek. Plays like it too!"
The star was not slow to slate the club's facilities off the pitch as well: "there was a time when a working man could get himself a decent chateaubriand, with a 1963 Beaujolais, a fine Havana cigar and still have change from two hundred quid." He then went on to criticise the quality of the club's catering: "Delia fucking Smith - drunken old cow! Couldn't cook a two-week old dog turd."
A Sunday Times journalist recently questioned him about his affiliations, suggesting that his 'love of soccer' was little more than an attempt at getting some street cred. "Not a bit of it old boy" he replied. "If you were to see me at the last home game, when that dark chappy put the ball down near the flag and kicked it towards the opposition's keeper, well, you'd have seen passion at its ultimate. What do they call that ... is it a line out? Awfully entertaining." He lamented the fact that his beloved club will not be facing Ipswich Town next season: "the one high point this season, was being able to take on The Tractor Boys in the South Stand. Got them good and proper we did, just outside The Lamb & Ferret pub. One lad looked as though he had The Devil's eyes. I took such pleasure in inflicting a Chinese burn on him whilst four of our lads held him. Okay, he was only twelve, but he was a bloody big twelve!"
His new play: 'You're goin' Down Sunshine!' co-starring Ray Winstone about serial hooligans can be seen around the UK from June 1st.
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