In a shocking new development, we can reveal that Sir Alan Sugar has already decided upon the business project to which this year's winner of The Apprentice will be assigned.
Analogue Snitch can exclusively show the new business and its premises, a whelk stall in the heart of the City of London. "Let's be frank" stated Sir Alan. "This bloody lot are only fit to run a fucking whelk stall, so that's all they're gettin'. If they show any acumen, I might let the person loose with a hot dog stand in Leicester Square in a prime pitch."
Contestant Ben Clarke said of the development: "I look forward to the challenge that awaits me, after ascending to my rightful place at the top of the pile. I was offered a scholarship to Sandhurst you know!"
Fellow contestant James McQuillan's response to the latest news was: "
Kate Walsh and Philip Taylor meanwhile are adamant that they are not staging a fake romance to secure greater media coverage. "At the end of the day" said Taylor, "any woman knows she'd be nothing without me - I'm the new Bill Gates. My time on the show was maybe a bit chequered, but off screen I'm 'Pants Man' where it counts. By the way, what's the going rate for a four-page exclusive? I can throw in some mpeg footage - know what I mean!"
No comments:
Post a Comment