Tuesday 5 May 2009

For whom the bell end tolls ...


Complaints have flooded in as viewers are poised for the most shocking soap storyline since Eastenders 'Big Mo' Slater copped off with that baldy bloke with the grandson, Jay.

In what is a pre-watershed slot, viewers will see Dev Alahan (Jimmy Harkishin) displayed naked on billboards around Weatherfield, as revenge by scorned lover Tara Mandal (pictured). One viewer Mrs Dorris Morris from Cheadle Hulme said: "Ooh my giddy aunt! My Yorkshire Terrier will go into meltdown. And as for my pussy ..."

The scene acts as a forerunner for an upcoming storyline involving Blanch, Norris and a rechargeable massager ... or at least that's what Blanche assumes it to be.

Pressed on whether or not there was any truth in the suggestion that Betty Turpin would quit The Rovers to open an S & M dungeon next to Roy's Rolls, producers stated categorically that this was dependent on whether or not Keira Knightly could be signed-up to play the part of the whip.

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